Re-starting what wked

Ok once upon a time I was 145lbs..........I started weight watchers on November 2008 I lost 15lbs but stopped going to meetings and eating a bit much.Today I decided to re-start the point counting and did great =) EXCEPT..............I started dinner and part of it is french bread and I strated to pick at it (shame) Ok well let me start off on what goes on...

My daily allowed points are still 19 not including 35 "play points" meaning if I really want a treat I can use the 35 no more than that..(yes the bread is now part of it=I) Today I ate:

1/3 cup of oatmeal (2)
Coffee(2)
Pot stickers from healthy choice (7)-came with rice
Treats-WW cookie and cake (2) for both
I drank ALOT of tea!! and water....
Dinner is Tomato soup and parmesean toast the total is 3 for that (1piece and 1 1/2 cup)
I might not have the full 1 1/2 cup of soup but I am still counting the points I had 3 left over before I ate the bread ........So Im assuming I ate total today of 20 (just because I ate bread already and had 3 left over so Im thinking the bread was 4)

Ok so everyday I will make sure to stay within my allowed points and see were I am on Christmas Eve,I know I probable gained the 5 I lost but Im just going to move forward =)

struggles in winter

I didnt wkout on Monday or Tuesday, on Monday it mainly was because it was storming I originally was planning on making Southwestern Turkey Chili but Oni asked me to not go to the store and just go home and hell grab dinner for us.I got home and hubby grabbed rolled tacos and rice I ate 3 and a little rice and a pan dulce......... Tuesday I was ok with food I wasnt as careful but I didnt eat alot either....last night I did make the chili but I got filled with chips and salsa.This cold weather really makes it rough for me mainly because I LOVE goodies......anything baked Im ok with food I dont get to tempted I can control myself some with the food but with goodies its very hard!!! So today I was going through some old blogs on my myspace when I first started wking out....and I was amazed on how motivated I was!!! Made me think and I asked myself why Im not like that right now?? reason??? NONE!! The weather isnt a good reason so today I ate better.:

Breakfast:1/3 cup oatmeal wth cinnamon and my coffee

Lunch I wasnt very hungry I ate a protein bar Luna smores and an apple

Snack baked chips

Goodie-small kitkat (1 bar)

Dinner turley chili and corn bread

snack 2 tbs of salsa and 5 chips...

Doesnt seem like much and its not but I was very hungry today...........I drank tea and water I wked out and burned 400 calories I will slowly get back into it again its rough for me Im very hard on myself, but I know once Im back on track it will get easier.Thank you for reading!!

Very close

While on vacation I decided to wkout as much as I could and did 6 days in a row =) I would do my yoga which was 1hr and 30min long and then off to the gym for 30min so a total of 2hrs of a wkout !! It felt awesome to be able to wkout like that and it made me make better choices also on Thanksgiving I went to the gym and wkouted out for 50min burned over 500 cal also.On friday I woke up pretty early and went to the mall and did some shopping.Me and Genesis stopped and ate at El Toritos I already know what the least calorie plate they have so I ordered a Chicken Tortilla Soup and a side salad also a Diet Pepsi.I avoided the chips and salsa and just ate a couple and pushed they away,which is hard!! Well the soup was a bit spicy and I had nothing else to eat that day other than a light Jamba Juice (125cal) well later that day we were home and I had very BAD nausea!!! I went to bed at 3am in pain and it was hard to sleep.I woke up Saturday and I wasnt able to eat anything I determined I had the stomach flu =( why?? Ive had it before and I wasnt vomiting (I would drink water or get alot of air but I was close a few times) I didnt go to the Dr because one year I had a bad case of the stomach flu and the Dr I worked for gave me an injection of Phernagen..........well I was allergic!! So since its a common medication for the symptoms (nausea) I didnt want to waste my time going since I know I cant have it I know theres more meds for it but I dont want to risk being alleric to any other ones.Anywho I wasnt able to wkout the rest of the week since I was recovering on that Saturday we went to Long Beach to have another Thanksgiving (Puerto Rican style) I ate a few bits of rice and salad and turkey ALL DAY thats it =( By tuesday I was able to to finally eat and not be sick!! I weighed myself yesterday morning and I went from 137 (this was pre-menstrual) to 132!! so 5lbs lost !!I always get stuck on this weight,it becomes a struggle last night we went to celebrate a friends bday at a Hookah lounge before that we ate at Corner Bakery I had chicken noodle soup and half a turkey sandwhich light mayo on Whole Wheat bread and a coffee.After the lounge (please note I didnt smoke or drink I had turkish coffee) they wanted to eat at some yummy Chinese place it was DELISH!! It was late though sooo I know I gained and yup 1.6lbs but its ok I know its due to the late eating and bloating I feel.This morning I had just my coffee and thats it...........Im not hungry so its back to eating good and being more active =) thanks for cking up on me.

Keeping motivated

This morning I woke up at 8am and MADE myself get ready for yoga........I didnt have time to eat breakfast so I grabbed a bananna and yes my coffee with sugar free creamer.Yoga was awesome and 90min long once it was over I got home took Gena to school and made myself a real breakfast 2 egg whites 1/4 butter and some shredded tri-tip and 1 piece of toast,once I ate I went to the gym and burned 300 calories and did some abs ok well when I was on the balance ball I adjusted myself and BOOM fell on my a*@!!!! =( it hurt!! noone was there and I got up fast and did some side bends(standing holding 7.5lbs ) and then some squats then home and showered.When Oni got Gena he wanted to take her to eat and play at Chucky Cheese I was good!! I ate 2 servings of salad no dressing (but tons of green some sun flower seeds), cantalope and melon dew (green) and 1 slice of pizza it was small though.I did pick at hubbys coconut cream pie just a few spoons not many and a couple of veggie sticks thats the only slip up I had~! Im proud of myself today lunch didnt happen but it was ok because breakfast was very filling for me I had one more cup of coffee but Im pretty content right now.Im looking forward to sticking to this routine atleast until sunday because Monday Im back to wk and then it gets HARD! =(

Putting away the scale

Ok so this am I felt extremly bloated!! We all know how that is............soooo I did the worse thing ever I WEIGHED MYSELF!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 2lbs!! ughhhh last night we went to eat.......I got 1/2 a turkey sandwhich lettuce only mayo on the side (I dipped my knife in it to spread) and a veggie soup.........Oni ordered an appetizer I ate some not much but it was good.They brought corn bread and fried green beans (omg so good) and chicken strips I picked at them but not much...I also drank some yummy orange spice tea with a tad of honey it was soo delicious!!! I know I didnt over eat yesterday and I know its all bloating it happens every month


I ate this am better I had 2 egg whites 1/4 tsp of butter and 1 toast bread also 1 cup of coffee and 2 tbsp of sugar free creamer.The reason I say 1 cup is because I normally drank more but I cut back also on the creamer so far thats all I had! oh and water but I ate at 10am and its already 12:28 and Im about to get ready to go to the gym and hit the eliptical burn 300 calories and if I have time do some weights.........I plan to go to the store today and get some roamine lettuce and make me a salad for lunch....I have some silvered almonds (protein) and some shredded cheese (calcium) and I plan to add some turkey breast to it or some other type of protein maybe also buy some protein shakes or bars Ill have to see....Dinner is tri-tip steaks and also salad and steamed broccoli Im trying my best its hard but I have great ppl keeping me motivated =) I will update later!!

********************UPDATE**********************************

I wasnt able to have lunch just because time passed and I didnt make time but I ate a handful of almonds and an apple before my wkout after I got Gena I took her for some ice cream and I got a small (and I mean small) cup (1 scoop) of marble fudge =I it was ok........then we got home I was making the tri-tip I cut it up and put it in my salad no dressing and 1 cup of 1% milk so far thats all I had.I made some corn bread but I havent had any and probable wont Yoga is a nono today Gena wants me to stay home and started crying when I told her I was going to leave for a little bit she said I can wkout at home with her so I cant just leave!! I did wkout today at the gym burned 300 calories and did some abs so Im ok I will wake up tomorrow at 8am and go to the gym and then yoga at 9am.....oh I also got some orange spice tea for later its soooooo good!! ok thats all I will NOT weigh myself until saturday am just because Im bloated and I will make time to wkout everyday since Im off of wk =) thanks for cking up on me!!

DIFFICULTY.......

Ok as I write this Im having cravings to go eat just about EVERYTHING I can find in my cabinets =( This morning I woke up at 7:00am had 1cup of coffee 1 tbs of creamer a small (genas small bowl) of cereal with milk and head out to yoga.....Class was great I sweat and had a good wkout it lasted 1hr and then off to the gym for a 300 calorie burn on the eliptical, I got home and started cleaning ((after the shower)) I also did laundry mopped and by 11am my home was clean!! Then Gena woke up (late sleeper) I made her pancakes I cut them small and yup.....I took some bites no syrup though she doesnt like it.A few hrs later I had the munchies...........I grabbed some veggie chips and shared with Gena.....drank about 2-3 bottle waters also just seems that Im more hungry!!!! Sooo 3pm came and I ate 1cup of home made beef stew and I decided to lay down and nap but couldnt!!! 1 more cup of coffee and I decided to write.Im doing my best to not eat alot of bad things and I realized I need to shop for healthy snacks also its about that time for me so the urges are super strong,hubby wants to eat at Marie Calenders so I have to remind myself SALAD SALAD!! Im determined to keep myself on this path its not easy at all!!

So far in 4yrs Ive gone from 180 to 135, its 2lbs more than a while back I know.....but the yoga makes me feel great and I feel slimmer....I think its water weight I ALWAYS gain weight when its that time for me. My goal is to be healthy I dont want to deprive myself but right now I think I need to limit myself just because the holidays are coming...........my fingers are crossed XX

Im back

Yes Im back Im soory Ive been gone for so long but Ive been busy..........busy being a mommy a wife a wking individual and also TRYING to wkout everyday!! So far Ive managed to wkout everyday I started Bikram Yoga a few days ago and I like it!!.I weighed myself and wasnt happy so I wonder what happened?? Its almost that time for me and Im also stressed out my cloths feel good so maybe its just water weight?Im off for a week from work so my goals are:

1)Wkout everyday -Yoga and 30min of Cardio
2)Avoid any junk food!! anything I know isnt healthy that is
3)When wanting something sweet eat an apple or drink crystal light

So far those are my goals for this week.............since I will be home.

Thanks for cking up on me!! =)

Genesis Leilani Ruiz.........

It was Genesis 4th birthday yesterday! When she woke up I asked her what today was.......ITS MY BUFDAY!!! haha......... as we got prepared to go to her party she was singing the Happy Bday song.......we all were..It was 4 yrs yesterday that she came into our lives......a precious little girl that was given to me from heaven.During my pregnancy with her there was always some type of issue, lets say the maternity ward already knew us .First she wouldnt move to much so we were always going in for monitoring, then Id clot a good amount so I was always being cked....one time we went to the ER because it was so much we were afraid I lost her, that same night we found out we were having a girl......Oni cried.She is the first girl born in about 6 generations.....Oni brother had all boys....my father in law had all boys.......in the family on my father in laws side are mainly boys,so when we found out shes a girl well what name to fit her perfectly than Genesis...........shes the first =)

There was so much going on with the pregnancy that I lost weight from the stress....on my last ck with my ob before having to go in once a week he told me we might have to do a C-section....he calculated her weight at 8lbs........I was 3 weeks away from my due date.I got scared!! he also said if I didnt want the c-section he might have to break her arms to get her out!!! So I had to make a choice.....if she kept on growing it was a C-section for sure.Well on 8/13/05 my sister threw me a baby shower Oni was in L.A at a car show with his partner at the time.I had such an awful day with the possible thought of being cut open.The baby shower was nice and even one person said "Watch your going to go into labor soon!" I laughed and told her na...I have 2 weeks to go, after the baby shower I went home and waited for Oni to be home....he got home pretty late.The next morning we woke up and decided to go watch a movie........I was getting ready and as he was searching for which movie I told him my back was hurting.....we thought nothing of it though.More time passed and I was SOOOOOOOOOOO uncomfortable~!! He kept asking if I was ok and I thought I was fine ....I was a tad hungry so as he went to get dinner I was still having pain.

A few hrs passed and then it got really bad.......I thought it was normal but he started keeping track then he asked me "Isnt this how u felt with Akira when you went into labor?" DUR!!!! OK so yes I was in labor!! I called my dr he was on his way to the hospital (he did scold me because he said I should be heading to the hospital not asking him if I should go hehe) well it was about 11pm when we got there.Labor was awful....I wanted the pain meds but it lasted about 15 min then it was gone!!! So no meds.......Dr wasnt there yet I went from 4cms to 9 in about a few hrs.I begged for my dr because well I wanted her out and she was coming I felt her completly heading out!! The nurse didnt believe me then she cked..........turned out I was fully dialated and I was crowning!!!!!!!! OH NOS!!! as my dr came in he had to also break my water.after that it went fast he was there about 20min and Gena was born....the cord was around her neck so I couldnt finish pushing he unrolled it and boom she squeaked she never cried alot.She was named the lazy baby (haha shes still is!! she sleeps until 10am) The dr turned to me and found out I had issues with the placenta hence all the clotting!!! but since Gena was healthy he didnt want to do any testing.

Genesis Leilani was born 8/15/05 at 6:53am on a Monday morning at 8lbs 3oz and 20inches long,turned out the dr was right about her weight.!!!!!!!!!! She was tested and when she had some xrays done for her chest (she had a murmur) and it all came out fine she was given a clear bill of health.She has brought so much love and happiness into the family.She smiles when she wakes up and kisses us all the time.She is the most loving little grl ever,she brought a sense of peace when we found out she was ok.She came 2 weeks early but she was ready.....when she came I cried.......I couldnt stop crying.There was a sense of relief.Knowing she was safe and that all the monitoring and worries were over.She is such a blessing,she made me complete.Her and Akira are gifts from heaven and when I got pregnant with her it was unexpected.I wasnt ready and Akira got jealous now they have a love that is so precious yes they argue and bicker they are 5yrs apart....but when your not looking and they are talking.....theres sooooooooooo much love.Akira takes care of her and Gena loves her to pieces........they are both my little angles and no matter how stressful I am......their smiling faces makes my day

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LITTLE GENA!!

Thank you all for coming to celebrate with us!

Jean shopping

I HATE IT!!!! =( Ok so last week I figured I need new jeans.......the reason? They ripped. Well I decided to start looking at different stores at the mall, I walked into a few but I know I didnt want to pay $50.00!! So I walked into For Ever 21 and grabbed a few different sizes.......Before having kids at age 18 I went from a size 30 waist to a 27....thats the smallest Ive ever been.Soooooo.......I grabbed some 27's and 28's and grant it they are ALL low rise!! Ok some of us dont like low rise my reason is because well I have 2 kids and I can say my tummy isnt hard rock tight.So I tried some jeans on and the 28's fit me.I was happy yet upset.I know if Id stick to a good wkout plan and so on Id be more toned or smaller!! The big issue I have isnt my tummy (but it is an issue) its my hips......yup they grew and if you feel it its all bone,so Im thinking Im forever going to stay a 28 waist? A normal size I have is size 7 jeans.......I hate jean shopping it makes me feel yucky and fat and miserable!!

Its been hard to wkout like I want my excuse? Our tv broke.So no EA Active for me right now we only have the small tv and the WII isnt hooked up to it.When I dont have Akira and shes at her dads for the week I do go to the gym and do cardio.........lots of Cardio!! I do stairs and the eliptical about 25-30 min each.I do ok with food but Im not going to lie I do have things I shouldnt ....I dont want to be super thin.I want to be toned so when I have cloths that are snug on thers no feeling uncomfortable.Im 5'3 and my weight should be from 113-140 Im (drummmmm) 133.4. When ever Im close to 130 I tend to gain weight back the highest Ive gotten this year is 137 and I felt miserable.!!!! Being amom is hard enough but adding weight loss man its at times impossible!! So...Im going to change things one step at a time....thank you for reading and hopefully I can keep my motivation ....and loose the lbs I want......my goal? 125 =)

Norm or not norm?

Ok well lately weve been dealing with the girls having their little attitudes and smart *** remarks.....grant it they are kids...and this is what they do and I know I did it but man!! ok let me start with the oldest...........Akira..........shes 9 and also my first born spoiled to the core that is she was until she got way out of hand............I admit shes gotten alot no tons better about her attitude but shes still struggling with the week by week changes Im not sure how things wk at her dads place she has mentioned she talks back to his g/f and she gets things taken away but here shes been just with and I dont care attitude she knows shell be heading to her dads everyother friday so I guess to her its a temporary punishment if shes grounded....
When asked to change the rabbits litter (ok no clean it) she makes a face and says again......................she makes it long and whiny!! grrr yes again! haha so she does it half a**ed because seems that shell do it for a minute then ask ok is this enough? she will take about an hr to clean it.........oh and to take the trash out... another face with her its mainly face making...to take a shower, man she literally takes like 30-40 minutes and if I tell her to hurry she says shes not done what do kids do in the shower!!!!!!!! shell tell you she doesnt care if you leave her alone in the house because you need to leave shell tell you to go leave me here........ok well she says it with an attitude!!!

Ok now Gena..........gena gena gena..........I will tell her to eat her chicken or no dessert shell respond "Oh yes I will Ill sneak it! and if I tell her I will spank you if you dont listen shell resond......No you wont I will run and you wont catch me!! hehe yes shell laugh...thats her new thing now she says oh no your not and oh yes I will I ll sneak it...watch........Im patient I havent spanked anyone or anything I will threaten a good grounding and possible spank but havent done it......I tell them sternly to stop and behave with Akira I talk to her and explain the consequences to her........today she and I stayed home and Oni went to the fair with Gena Akira got moody with Oni so shes not allowed to have fun .....sad but true.....any suggestions?!! what did your parents do to you when you misbehaved?? mine? shed grab a leather belt and tell me Id be spanked (never did it) but I was BAD!!! maybe she shouldve who knows....hmmm well thanks for reading.

20 yrs ago

I was only 8 yrs old when my father passed away....I remember the day like it was yesterday....me and my sister were outside playing with the neighbors andmy older sisiter ran out yelling Dads dead!!!! I thought shes exagerating......see shes mentally challenged and wasnt suppose to be born this way....my moms water broke and when she went to the hospital the Dr took to long to get there my mom was suppose to have a C-section so my sister lost oxygen but my parents didnt know what happend until she got older and started noticing certain things werent right......well anyway she has a habit of exagerating the situation so she kept yelling it at us so we ran inside the house and we asked what happened I went to my parents room and there was my dad lying on the bed.......gone .He just finished eating lunch and everytime he eats hed say "I rather dye with a full stomach than an empty stomach " haha he had a sense of humor well my dad was sick he had Juvenile Diabetes but he wasnt good about what he ate he was also on dyalisis......when he didnt do it he felt like he wasnt able to breath.....I recall him eating a chocolate bar before going to get it done wed go with him and watch there was sooo many people there but I never really knew why it was being done I was young.He got sicker so when hed eat at times he would just throw up...which he did that day....as far as I can remember he still had vomit on him so he might have ruptured an artery from the force he made.....I begged my mom to do CPR on him but she didnt really know how but she did what she could while the ambulance came..........they got there and took him away...he was in the hospital a few days if I can remember or maybe it was the same day but I recall members from the church coming over to say a prayer for him and our family I prayed sooo hard for him to be ok...I was told later he didnt make it....maybe also had a heart attack its not clear to me yet.Days passed we had a memorial for him were ppl came and would see him before the funeral at the church I was outside playing with my cousins who I havent seen in a while and my mom came outside telling us to go inside that this is the last time well see him.....she was strong for us.The day of the funeral it hit me......he was gone.......I held back tears (the way I am now) and just watched as ppl would come pay their respects to my mom.....I was told I needed to take care of her now.....me an 8yr old little grl? wow.......I stopped going to see my dads grave after a while it was to hard.......he and I had a very close relationship....my mom told me secertly I was his favorite Id sit on his lap and just watch tv or eat Id have it no other way so many small memories but they are all mine =) I miss him alot because if he was here I KNOW my life would be completly different and he would love his grandkids...I look at Akira more and more she does look like him my aunt told me this a fw weeks ago and it hit me like wow your right!!! I cherish my kids alot and now I go visit my dad more often its been a few months but I started going again at first I admit I broke dwn alot!!! but now Im to were I can talk about it....I miss him alot but I know hes here with me in spirit he protects me......and that brings me soooooo much peace .His health was never a big issue to him.....I think his death made me more careful about myself and others we were cked for diabetes since his death so far Im the only one who doesnt have it but I do have high cholesterol........sooner or later I will also have diabetes but I do what I can to take care of myself and my kids Akiras cked every year and soon Gena will need to also more as a preventaive.........we eat prety good when we can......my sisters and mom all have the health issues and it does scare me I remember as a little grl telling my mom to eat better .....to take her meds its scary and sad to know my dad didnt take care of himself if he did hed be here I was also mad at him for it......I felt like he didnt care but now I realize....he knew he was dying he was told he had 3yrs to live......he lived alot longer beyond what he was told.......I wouldve been alot younger....so he lived his life to the fullest he could he was blind but made a point to watch tv with us....his picture is always with me....at wk and in my wallet.....hes sooo missed today I will be taking flowers to his grave........he died 06/11/1989 his birthday was 08/11/1950 or 55 cant remember!! haha but he was in his 30's like probable 34 ...........I pray my mom and sisters take better care of them selves I dont know what Id do if they were gone......thanks for reading.

New foods for Gena

Im super duper excited!! Gena started eating salad!! ok let me start from the beginning.......well on saturday she asked if we can go to the Soup Plantation......we were like sure!! so off we went and before we got there I told her that she will need to start to try new things like salad and veggies she didnt say no so I thought maybe she wont fight me!! haha ok well we were in the line for salad I showed her her plate and informed her that her salad will go in here......so first I asked her to taste the lettuce....she loved it because it was crunchy and juicy haha ok well I then continued to have her taste cucumbers and zuccini and not once did she complain.. I added some sunflower seeds and she requested some broccoli........whaa!!!ok!! its raw so I wasnt sure shed like it she tasted it and ate it so I added some my husband also got some different dressings for her to try she liked the milky one (ranch) she actually dipped the broccoli in it!! she didnt finish it but she did try it!! YAY!!!

Why am I sooo excited? well if you know Gena she wont try new things unless you literally stuff it in her mouth and force her to try it.. we were visiting family in L.A and we were at this yummy pizza place well all of us got some salad and I mentioned to her that soon shell have to try it also she said nope not me! so for her to try it and like it its amazing!! jaja So we went to eat on anther night and I tild her from the start no fries..so I gave her the option between apple sauce or steamed broccoli she choose.......BROCCOLI I think its her new veggie........she ate it most of it that is.....shes only eaten her veggies in soups because its the only way to hide them so far.....well not anymore...!!! =) I hope she begins to choose more veggies to try I think it will make things easier for me so I wont feel like I have to cook differntly for her to substitute things....so now she knows if we have mac n cheese yes were adding broccoli =) thanks for reading

HAVING A 9YR OLD!

I never thought Id see the day Akira turned 9 yes I knew it would be one day ofcourse but it seemed to farrrrrrrrrr away at the time.....let me take you back just a tad.......

I was 19 when I had Akira........she was my 2nd preg my first I miscarried...I found out I was pregnant with her and I was excited she wasnt a hard pregnancy .The week I had her was tough though........my doctor kept wondering if I was preg with twins see I was HUGE!! he measured me alot to be sure and did many ultrasounds (free) but nope just Mona was in there..One day I was in the shower and I got a big pain on my lower abd...lets say it was probable 05-29-00...called my ob and he sent me to the maternity ward I was hooked up to monitors to see what was going on.....everything was fine or so I thought he came in read the heart monitor for her and said Id need to come back after my Dr appt the next day.......I asked why he said her heart rate would drop when Id have a contraction ok well I didnt know I was having them they were the type that just made your tummy tighten. see her heart would drop and not come right back up which isnt good that day I was 36 1/2 weeks...the next day I went to my appt and he said hed see me at the maternity ward on Friday (it was thursday) since I wasnt having pain...well Friday am I and her dad went to the maternity ward we didnt eat because we planned to go after the appt.....when I walked in the nurses were joking that I was in a good mood for someone cking in I told them oh Im just here for monitoring Im not due yet!! well I was monitored and after which seemed forever the Dr came in and announced I needed to get a test done called an Amniocentises.........EEEEKKKKKKK! no it didnt hurt but they put this big long needle inside my tummy and collected liquid from the sac and ran it off to test to see if her lungs were mature so she can be born normal or C-section.....a few hrs later turns out her lungs were fine and oh yea 97% its a grl!! (there was confusion all the time she didnt shw comp) so they enduced me and on 06-2-00 Akira Monique was born at 6lbs 1 oz 18inches long her cord was sooooo short and I later found out that she couldve not made it I wasnt enduced scary!!! shes the best thing that happened to me at the time in my life because of her I went back to school and when things werent so good she was there to make me smile.......she became my strength when I left her dad.....

She wasnt a premiee she was a pre-term.....37weeks......shes still a handful but as she grws shes matured in so many ways shes still into little kids things but is now wanting to wear lip gloss and nail polish...yet she wants to be a tomboy which I was at a young age and didnt grw out of it well until way later!! My computer isnt allowing me to upload but when I do I will post some pixs of her......she asked me to take pixs of her the day before her b-day because she said its the last time shell be eating and so on as being 8 haha shes silly thank u for reading!!

Trip to Fresno

Well I left on friday like I said at 4pm due to many stops I had to take care of for a cousin I got to Fresno at 11pm on the dot.........may I say Im proud of myself Ive NEVER driven so far alone........it was nice in a way I was able to enjoy the scenery and have alone time.Akira was calling me to make sure I was ok........awwww......she was concerned because I was alone in the car and if anything happened she wouldnt know but I assured her that my onstar would let her know and it will take care of me if anything happened so she was happy about that.While I was driving my sister called me a few times to see were I was and to just chat we dont do that ever......so it was nice.....ofcourse Oni called me to see how the drive was and he would calculate the time frame as to how much longer Id be he said Id arrive at 11pm when I told him I was in the mountains he was right!! lol**
My poor hubby he was pacing around he was nervous for me to be driving so late but it was worth it I got to his aunts house I called my mom and sister and txted Akiras granpma to let them know I arrived safely and he came out of the house (looked like he was waiting at the door not to sure)and I just hugged him ! I missed him alot but I was soooooo tired and I needed to shower it was hot!!! (84 to be exact) I greeted everyone they were all awake planning a wedding for this weekend coming.....I looked at his aunt and she looks sick......very thin in the face but her belly is very swollen.......the Drs say any day now shes around due to her faith and the fact that her daughter is getting married soon...it was nice to be there with the family we had a Bridal Shower the next day it was hot!! (98!!!) but it all turned out beautiful it was very emotional.......possible the last get together so we all think together it was all worth the drive to see my hubby and Gena she ran to me!! didnt let go and wnted me to hlp in everything she normally does alone it felt real nice to be needed again well be leaving again friday this time for the wedding Akira will be coming with us this time so well be leaving late........(I pick her up at 7pm) this trip will be more emoti0nal than the last one.......I pray shes still wth us for more days...months even a year I know thats pushing it....but I can hope.....I will post some picturers later on......thanks for reading

missed and appreciated

Have you ever thought that you can do things without your partner being there? simple things like going to the store or taking out the trash and so forth just little things?? Well I thought hey I can do it I dont need help well here I am Oni left to Fresno last night with Genesis and my inlaws and I have just Akira with me...(thank goodness!!!) After he left we went to Walmart I decided to paint Akiras toe nails and let her pick her color.......while I was there I gotmore water and things we needed.........ok well as I was putting the things in the car it hit me.......I have to carry ALL this inside and up the stairs!!! yes Akira helped me but the heavy things like the water and coke zero.......man! Oni was always the one to tell me that hed get it for me........I was tired and wanted the day to end but it was only 6:30pm......so I told Akira to shower and I carrie the hevy things up stairs while she showered I noticed ok.....trash..........I carried all the trash out after a while I also realized I forgot to get my medication I take (BCP) AND the bird food (which Oni did ask me to get around 3pm.) so off we went to the stores .........I never realized how much I depend on him for the small things.......!!!

I got home showered and it was so quiet!! Akira was at my moms,she takes her to school in the am since I wake up at 4:30am....I couldnt sleep to quiet......no noise no lights on...scary finally I called Oni it was 11:00pm. he was almost to Fresno.......I said goodnight and tried to sleep when I woke up it hit me again.....Im alone so I made the bed tidied things up a bit got ready and took off to work.....normally I call Oni at 10:00am to say Hi and talk to Gena not sure if that can happen today so much is going on.....his aunt is dying and I want to be there for him but cant because of work.....Im doing my best to be un-selfish but I MISS them!!! I know they will be home soon....probable friday I dont know how military wives do this and I KNOW Im complaining but this makes me appreciate him more I thought yea!! FINALLY get to go to the gym wkout ok no.....I need to get Akira make dinner help with homework......and spend qulity time with her.......which I appreciate I enjoy talking to her with no interuption........she has alot to say......this has a good and bad I guess.....Im just realizing how much I depend on him and appreciate the small things.....yes I KNOW once they are home Ill go back to being annoyed that the house is a mess and to much noise but for now......I miss them <3

Weigh in

This morning I weighed myself and I lost .............1.6lbbs!!! yay!!! Im close to were I now want to be ........we set up our WII fit last night and my huby made a comment Im the only one in the normal when it comes to the BMI and Im the only one complaining! haha true but like I said its about my comfort yes I know crazy but hey its me =)

Akira and him got on it and did some wkouts so far they are enjoying it I havent got on yet.........looks like I might have to take a number!! lol** ok well thats it for now thanks for reading!! Gotta go wk

Random

Well I havent weighed myself because it was a stressful week at wk...Ive been learing to enter sugerys and Inpts which isnt very hard just time consuming and it doesnt help when the nurses are just giving you more surgerys while your still entering the ones from like an hour ago......ifyour wondering were I work I wk in the TPR unit for Tricare/Healthnet I enter the referrals and send them over to be reviewed by the military but its my responsibility to make sure everything is entered correctly and that the eligibility is up to date and more.......so its a tiny bit stressful when I stress I tend to gain it always happens to me.....not because I over eat but because I forget to eat.......the body naturally thinks your starving so it holds onto everything you have so you dont loose.....you might even gain which I normally do......so Im just eating better (yes I do have my treats!!) but we went to eat yesterday and I had a spinach salad with bell peppers and mushroms and chicken it was ok....but I did hold back on ordering a not so healthy food............burgers!! haha I did have a little bit of the grls fries to kill my urge it wked and my hubby made sure I didnt over do it he told me to stop no more .......I asked him to help me control myself because I love me my fries!! hahaha

So I took Akira to get her toes done on Sunday and I did also it was a treat because I dont even go to get them done but shes been asking me to do them but I thought shed love some mommy and daughter time she did she was happy she wasnt aware of what we were doing so it was a surprise =) Gena is still to young for it so I will do her nails at home.........no finger painting just toes Akira eats her nails and Gena well she doesnt but still to young I say.........its been hot lately so it makes a great time for ice cream......my other weakness!!! but I get the sugar free.......still yum but I get one scoop so I just have enough to satisfy me ........well thats it for now I will be posting some pixs soon!!! thanks for reading.

Found some goodies to help me

Ok first I know its easy for some to just eat healthy ALL the time and resist sweets and tempation but for me its not easy I tell myself that I wont have this and that and will keep away from so on.........but its so hard.So I found some alternatives and please dont judge me because even I can say that these arent the best choice but they help me stay clear from the worse things but some things I do eat are just as healthy.....

First of all I found some yummy english muffins for the am they are Thomas light multi-grain they gave 8g of fiber!!! OMG!! they are sooo good!! (and may I add they are only 1pt for me for the whole thing) =) yay...now when I eat lunch which can be anything really....I eat smart ones or lean cuisines which I dont care for the ones that have chicken or meat so its mainly pasta or if I have left overs from dinner.....now I have low sugars at times and ALWAYS crave something sweet after I eat......so I also have 100 calorie hostess cinnamon streusel coffee cakes for three small ones its only 1 pt for me!!

Now I know its not the best ever for the cake but I also do eat fruit all day I have oranges and pears and grapes ....now.........for drinks this is were I feel I will get more gripe on.........I love Red Bull.........but it has to be Sugar free!!! (o pts for the can) I sip it with a straw and it lasts longer for me now I DONT drink it every day but when I cant keep awake I go for it also I need to say I dont really drink soda but I love Coke Zero cherry......yup 0 pts.......its the only one I will drink I already had an ear full from one person I wk with but hey again its once in a while other than that I drink teas I found some yummy ones like Trader Joes carries a Blueberry Green tea and a Pomegrate White tea I do add 1 packet of non-caloric sweetner and its so good also Im in love with the one from Celestial its a Country Peach passion it taste like candy to me =)


I know you think I need more water right? well I drink lots of it!! I put the Crystal light in it!!! it adds more flavor Im also munching on almonds but not alot because I DO have high cholesterol so I have to limit myself to much isnt good for me.......so far these things help me.......I do get calcium which I know I need from yogurt but Im not a big milk drinker I know Iris it helps Im trying!! ok so far this is what I eat to help me keep me away from sweets I did weigh in at home from my scale it says I lost 1.6lbs =) but yet it reads differnt from when I went to the meeting but Im not doing the meetings anymore I will weigh in at home in the morning every saturday and go from there thanks for reading!!

Choices

Well I have decided to stick to what Im doing....but........I also decided that my goal to be 125lbs isnt going to happen why? well I have 2 kids and Im pretty busy and for me to be that weight means completly focusing on just wking out alot and being sooooooooo detailed on how I eat that it means less time with the kids and Oni and also he made a comment that hit........he thinks Im getting to thin which he doesnt like.My husband has NEVER once made me feel that I needed to loose weight ......it was always me thats never happy on my body so he accepts that I will workout example:instead of sleeping in on the weekend I get up and go wkout which is ok with him....as long as I dont complain Im tired because it was my choice to get up he rather me rest......I took akira with me sunday morning to the golf course its a 4mile trail she took her bike I jogged along which is great because I was trying to stay near her so I HAD to keep jogging!! we did it in 40min!! If I was alone it would take me an hr!! haha we were both sore at the end but she liked it so I told her that I will be taking her wth me on the weekends and during the week if theres time she was happy about that.So now that Im ok with being 130 I just need to loose a couple pounds that seem to love being with me and Im good yes Im still going to be healthy minded and wkout but I think if my husband loves how I look then I should be happy also I dont want to be to thin that hell be disgusted........so toning is still a total must thats all hes tld me to keep doing........I feel less stressed now which is great!! I was putting to much pressure on myself and he thinks thats whats made me gain also weve both watched the Biggest Loser and he told me what Jillian once told a contestant:Stress will make you gain!! stop stressing!! haha so thats what I will do keep wking out and love my body the way it is.....now as for weighing in I think I wont be going in to much anymore I will still do it at home and go once or twice a month but its more pressure going in....if I loose more than what I want to now then its ok also for now I want to be happy and my hubby to be happy and me not stressing and crying (yes Ive cried!!) about my weight will make our lives better thanks for reading!!

Struggles

Ok so today I have a weigh in but Im really hesitant........Ive been doing alot of weights and have been neglecting the cardio I mean I do it but not like I use to my focus is on toning.Im eating good also yesterday I went to the gym after work but I draged myself there.........after I needed to do some grocery shopping for fruit and meat so when I did that I was very very hungry but avoided grabbing any junk.......when I called my husband he mentioned his friend was over so they grabbed a bite so in my mind it meant I didnt have to cook right?? so I wondered ok well what can I eat but then realized nope cant do that I need to cook......I was tempted I mean REALLY tempted to go grab a burger or taco but I know Id feel bad after.........soooooo....I did what a addict does when he needs help controlling his cravings...I called my cousin!! its funny when I say it out loud and my husband agreed its sort of silly but I also know she would make sure I got home with out stopping to grab fast food because one: I hate hate hate ordering food while Im on the phone so I knew I wouldnt dare do that if I was talking so I was happy she answered and kept talking to me she encouraged me and once I got home she even said "Ok are you home now?" lol** I felt like it was a late night and I called someone to keep me awake I sooooo appreciate her help!!As for the weigh in not to sure if I should do more cardio this week and lighter weights with more reps like my cuz is telling me and then be weighed in next week....in other words skip todays weigh in.........? not sure what to do yet I will have to figure it out before 530 tonight.............thanks for reading!!

Weigh in

Ok well Im writing this as I sip my blueberry/green tea .......wth one sugar packet =) Last night I went back to weight watchers meeting near my home.........I was dreading it because at first I havent been sticking to my plan for about a month last weigh in I was only 5lbs from my goal so I was excited I was 130..............well as always I rewarded myself with a burger (habit I need to break) this was on Feb 11th ....since then Ive been off and on and ended up gaining 4lbs!!! ughhh which I was upset because Ive been wking soooo hard to loose!! I stared being 148lbs.........so imagine my hard wk going dwn the drain!! So I started wking out 6days a week did spin class on sunday for 1hr 30min and I looked it up online for wkout ts its 13pts!!!!! WHAT!! my group leader said I will probable gain if I go under my daily pts also..........well anywho when I walked in last night it felt good to know they were wondering how I was .......made me feel welcome and I said well I gained so I didnt want to come in and they reassured me they are not judging and they are there for support (I need to say I do have a great group there) so the leader took out her books and mentioned that she also almost quit a few times and gained so I know its ok..........but over all I lost 2!!! yes its not were I wanted to be but its a loss and I hope to keep loosing Im sticking to this and last night I was soooo hungry I almost went for a burger but I went to Subway instead got me a whole wheat turkey wth lettuce cucumbers and bell peppers no mayo or anything I did get the sun chips but man theres barely anything in there!! haha so I guess it was ok so my next week goal is 1-2lbs .........thanks for reading!!!

Wking out

Ok well I have been trying to loose weight since gosh I can remember!! Well so far this week (since sunday) me and my hubby have wked out everyday he didnt want to go last night and honesly neither did I it was already like 5:30pm and we needed to get Gena who was picked up by my inlaws so we can go wkout..........so I made myself get dressed and to my surprise he got ready and we went =) weve been doing more weights than cardio which is ok but for me I love cardio!!! I feel if I do weights I wont loose but gain (which is true at first) well so far so good I feel great but I have to admit.........Ive been eating some things that arent wonderful for me....but Im totally good ALL day!!! so I say and think its ok.......I dont over do it but I do give in to some sweets what do you think?? Well I cant give a number of loss but I knw I gained 3lbs thats what Im trying to loose PLUS the last 5!!! it happens cloths still fit good so Im not stresed!! well thanks for reading!!

I always look at my girls and see how different they are!!! OMG!! if I look up their astrological signs and look at the personalities its amazing how almost true it is!! Im not the type who follows it to the T but I do look at it and go wow!! Akira is my Gemini..........heres her personality:

In Astrology, Geminis have also gained the reputation of being the incessant talkers of the zodiac. Those Twins that don't have the 'gift of the gab' are usually talented writers or have a special interest in foreign languages. Together with Scorpio and Virgos, they are a sign that is often discussed, dissected and sometimes even put down by the other signs of the zodiac. Sometimes this is a subtle form of jealousy by others, because Geminis do lead very unique and unusual lives. The Gemini personality can appear mysterious or detached to others and therefore they are often misunderstood and unappreciated for the talents they offer to the world at large.


Akira DOES love to gab!! she gets in trouble in class because of it!!! its her only issue in class shes very well behaved but if you know her she loves to talk if you dont know her give her 2 seconds shell start talking about everything!! that girl wont stop and doesnt think before she speaks so she at times says things that might offend but its because shes very forward were use to it=) she is also at times detached doesnt show much emotion she loves people but doesnt tell them its just how she is but when she wants to be shes a very lovey douby person ...aww my baby girl


Now as for Genesis shes my little Leo...........my family is full of them!! my mom sisiters and my dad who passes away (rip) heres her personality:

There are three levels of soul-evolution of the Leos. The highest is represented by the Sphinx; wise beyond their years and great teachers to others. The second is the Lion, King of the Jungle, ruled by ego but always protective and sustaining of those they love. The last is the Lion Cub, immature and undeveloped, frightened by anything new. These Leos cling to others (in the mode of the child not wanting to leave its mother's side).) They can't bear to be alone. No matter what level they have attained, all Leos are trendsetters, leaders and adventurers. Their weakness is their pride.

Gena loves to show us new things shes learned like in Ballett!! shell show her uncle or grandparents what she does in class all the time!! also yes shes very protective of people she loves and cherishes us and if were playig and someone gets hurt shell tell you to be nice and to not hurt the person again but shell be stern yet gentle....she doesnt like new things especially food.......but thats a whole new blog!!! she will cling on to us when shes somewere new until she feels comfortable she use to be stuck on our legs all the time as a toddler......and yes she has much pride shes not willing to admit her faults but will if its the bitter end ........

See my girls are so opposite!! but I love them to pieces!! thanks for reading!

March of Dimes for Babies

Many of us have never experienced a loss of a child or have had a premature baby......in the United States there are 1 in 8 babies born prematurly .March of Dimes was stared 70 yrs ago by our former President FDR which many of us probable did or didnt know had Polio as a child.The former President wanted to start an organization that will help raise awareness and money for the cure or prevention of Polio the organization was called Infintile Peralysis Association.....later renamed March of Dimes for Babies.To provide the proper care for a premature baby it cost millions......thats just for one!! Imagine all the little ones born everyday!!! 1 in 8!! I personally dont have the experience of having a premature child I have been blessed to have healthy girls but I do have family and friends who have had to go through the agony of not knowing if they would take a baby home or if their child would grow up to be normal......the money raised through March of Dimes also helps fund the New Born screenings done at the hospital they now have a law that each baby born is to be checked for 14 different metabolic diseases before being allowed to go home!! when before it was lucky if they checked for 7!!! .We have come a long way in 70yrs lets continue to add more miracles and please donate just click on the right hand side it can make a difference in a babies life and their parents........also you can find a location for a walk and you can also raise money that way....any little bit helps!! thank you!

Welcome to the family....

Prince Charming and Snow White!!

Please welcome Price Charming(blue bird) and Snow White (white bird) to our family! =) today we were walking inside Petco after lunch at Soup Plantation (which I truly love!!! so yummy!!!) and Genesis asked for a bird so we looked into it and I picked the white bird.....shes so pretty!! so calm they both let us hold them and since they have their wings clipped they wont fly away but we agreed not to clip them once they grow back in because we feel bad watching them have to climb all over the place to get back on top

Gena loves her new pets! shes been holding onto them since we brought them home its super cute!!! were hoping this brings music into the home I love hearing birds singing!! its so peaceful and calming.......thanks for reading!!

Of my yes!!

Well today I had a pretty good day!!! that is until I came home and baked some chocolate chip walnut cupcakes w/ fluffy frosting! ok I only had one!! =) but I was asked to post some before pixs of me before my 15LBS LOSS!!! yup you read correctly Ive lost 15lbs since the end of October which Im very proud of! I had some set backs but Im still keeping at it.........I wked out yesterday for 55minutes total all day....then I went to my meeting 5 lbs more to go!!!

Me now 15lbs less on my 28th bday

This is me with Gena at the fair 1 yr ago

At yosemite in 2006 gena was only 15months

My girls keep me pretty busy they truly make my day special yes they have their days were I just want to hide because its so hectic but they are my world and I love them more than life itself since saturday is valentines day I like to make things special for my kids so the cupcakes are for them and I will also be getting them a little something they can use its something my mom use to do for us as kids so I want to keep that going.........my life wouldnt be how it is without them I cant imagine it but I fell so blessed to have them they are good girls so full of love and life they are about 5yrs 2months apart so they have thier bickering days but when I turn around and notice the hugs and kisses between them its something that makes me melt I posted some pixs above so you can see my beautiful girls =) thanks for reading

Back on track!

Well like I mentioned in my previous blog I started getting back on track with my plan.........it seemed like I lost the urge to loose more after I lost my 10% (14lbs) but since I realized the only person who has control is me I said ok no excuses! so last night I made some yummy dinner!! Kung Po chicken!! (1/2 cup) and some good brown rice (1/2cup) total 6pts =) it had zuccini and bell peppers so good and filling I think brown rice is a filling food so it wks! haha yesterday I wkd out for 55min did real good on the points I dont think I went over which is great because Ive been pretty bad on monday I was in charge of a fundraiser for March of Dimes and we had a soup and salad buffet along with some goodies I resisted for a while then I realized I havent eaten so I had some (very little) pasta salad my mom made so we can sell OMG!! so yummy!! but overall dinner was ok KFC chicken with some pasta salad (had some left overs) but no skin I know I went over but Im not perfect but Im back on track since tuesday tonight I get weighted in which Im nervous about I know I probable gained more (last time I gained .8) if I do gain well who can I blame but me but I know I will loose it.........as long as Im back on track right? well today I FORCED myself to the gym......actually a co-worker said she was going and I was going to sneak out of it but felt guilt since all I do is whine and complain so I went did the treadmill at 4.3 for 30min so happy I did it!! well see what tonight brings thanks for reading!!

Weight and Life

Ok first let me start off by saying no Im not a health freak! then also by saying I have struggled with my weight forever in a days!!! I go up and down and then Im stuck so when one of my cousins friends on myspace started posting her weight loss while on Weight Watchers I thought hey!! I should try so I did so far Ive lost 14lbs (yay!!) but with my birthday which passed weve been eating pretty unhealthy which is ok but I cant seem to get back into my routine!! well I walk during my lunch or do some cardio which makes me break a small sweat and as of today I have made sure to eat alot better which is hard considering I love food!!

Well anywho last night I went to Ralphs to look for some yummy food to start the day right (grant it I went after taking Genesis to Chucky Cheese!! ) well I found a very delicious smart ones lunch which was broccoli with red potatoes and cheese can I just say OMG!! it was soooo good!!! I think I will get it again its just hard to stay on track and to say no but I need to do this for me and my kids I want to set a good example for them.......well thanks for reading on about my weight issues!!

Well first of all thanks for coming!! Im a mother of two beautiful girls who keep me going all day in which Im worn out!! Im also a wife to a wonderful man who has been my rock and has showed me what I have been missing in my life......Im very blessed to have a wonderful family and I hope to make many memories with them so when my girls grow up they have nothing but great stories and memories .......thank you for reading!