Jean shopping

I HATE IT!!!! =( Ok so last week I figured I need new jeans.......the reason? They ripped. Well I decided to start looking at different stores at the mall, I walked into a few but I know I didnt want to pay $50.00!! So I walked into For Ever 21 and grabbed a few different sizes.......Before having kids at age 18 I went from a size 30 waist to a 27....thats the smallest Ive ever been.Soooooo.......I grabbed some 27's and 28's and grant it they are ALL low rise!! Ok some of us dont like low rise my reason is because well I have 2 kids and I can say my tummy isnt hard rock tight.So I tried some jeans on and the 28's fit me.I was happy yet upset.I know if Id stick to a good wkout plan and so on Id be more toned or smaller!! The big issue I have isnt my tummy (but it is an issue) its my hips......yup they grew and if you feel it its all bone,so Im thinking Im forever going to stay a 28 waist? A normal size I have is size 7 jeans.......I hate jean shopping it makes me feel yucky and fat and miserable!!

Its been hard to wkout like I want my excuse? Our tv broke.So no EA Active for me right now we only have the small tv and the WII isnt hooked up to it.When I dont have Akira and shes at her dads for the week I do go to the gym and do cardio.........lots of Cardio!! I do stairs and the eliptical about 25-30 min each.I do ok with food but Im not going to lie I do have things I shouldnt ....I dont want to be super thin.I want to be toned so when I have cloths that are snug on thers no feeling uncomfortable.Im 5'3 and my weight should be from 113-140 Im (drummmmm) 133.4. When ever Im close to 130 I tend to gain weight back the highest Ive gotten this year is 137 and I felt miserable.!!!! Being amom is hard enough but adding weight loss man its at times impossible!! So...Im going to change things one step at a time....thank you for reading and hopefully I can keep my motivation ....and loose the lbs I want......my goal? 125 =)

Norm or not norm?

Ok well lately weve been dealing with the girls having their little attitudes and smart *** remarks.....grant it they are kids...and this is what they do and I know I did it but man!! ok let me start with the oldest...........Akira..........shes 9 and also my first born spoiled to the core that is she was until she got way out of hand............I admit shes gotten alot no tons better about her attitude but shes still struggling with the week by week changes Im not sure how things wk at her dads place she has mentioned she talks back to his g/f and she gets things taken away but here shes been just with and I dont care attitude she knows shell be heading to her dads everyother friday so I guess to her its a temporary punishment if shes grounded....
When asked to change the rabbits litter (ok no clean it) she makes a face and says again......................she makes it long and whiny!! grrr yes again! haha so she does it half a**ed because seems that shell do it for a minute then ask ok is this enough? she will take about an hr to clean it.........oh and to take the trash out... another face with her its mainly face making...to take a shower, man she literally takes like 30-40 minutes and if I tell her to hurry she says shes not done what do kids do in the shower!!!!!!!! shell tell you she doesnt care if you leave her alone in the house because you need to leave shell tell you to go leave me here........ok well she says it with an attitude!!!

Ok now Gena..........gena gena gena..........I will tell her to eat her chicken or no dessert shell respond "Oh yes I will Ill sneak it! and if I tell her I will spank you if you dont listen shell resond......No you wont I will run and you wont catch me!! hehe yes shell laugh...thats her new thing now she says oh no your not and oh yes I will I ll sneak it...watch........Im patient I havent spanked anyone or anything I will threaten a good grounding and possible spank but havent done it......I tell them sternly to stop and behave with Akira I talk to her and explain the consequences to her........today she and I stayed home and Oni went to the fair with Gena Akira got moody with Oni so shes not allowed to have fun .....sad but true.....any suggestions?!! what did your parents do to you when you misbehaved?? mine? shed grab a leather belt and tell me Id be spanked (never did it) but I was BAD!!! maybe she shouldve who knows....hmmm well thanks for reading.

20 yrs ago

I was only 8 yrs old when my father passed away....I remember the day like it was yesterday....me and my sister were outside playing with the neighbors andmy older sisiter ran out yelling Dads dead!!!! I thought shes exagerating......see shes mentally challenged and wasnt suppose to be born this way....my moms water broke and when she went to the hospital the Dr took to long to get there my mom was suppose to have a C-section so my sister lost oxygen but my parents didnt know what happend until she got older and started noticing certain things werent right......well anyway she has a habit of exagerating the situation so she kept yelling it at us so we ran inside the house and we asked what happened I went to my parents room and there was my dad lying on the bed.......gone .He just finished eating lunch and everytime he eats hed say "I rather dye with a full stomach than an empty stomach " haha he had a sense of humor well my dad was sick he had Juvenile Diabetes but he wasnt good about what he ate he was also on dyalisis......when he didnt do it he felt like he wasnt able to breath.....I recall him eating a chocolate bar before going to get it done wed go with him and watch there was sooo many people there but I never really knew why it was being done I was young.He got sicker so when hed eat at times he would just throw up...which he did that day....as far as I can remember he still had vomit on him so he might have ruptured an artery from the force he made.....I begged my mom to do CPR on him but she didnt really know how but she did what she could while the ambulance came..........they got there and took him away...he was in the hospital a few days if I can remember or maybe it was the same day but I recall members from the church coming over to say a prayer for him and our family I prayed sooo hard for him to be ok...I was told later he didnt make it....maybe also had a heart attack its not clear to me yet.Days passed we had a memorial for him were ppl came and would see him before the funeral at the church I was outside playing with my cousins who I havent seen in a while and my mom came outside telling us to go inside that this is the last time well see him.....she was strong for us.The day of the funeral it hit me......he was gone.......I held back tears (the way I am now) and just watched as ppl would come pay their respects to my mom.....I was told I needed to take care of her now.....me an 8yr old little grl? wow.......I stopped going to see my dads grave after a while it was to hard.......he and I had a very close relationship....my mom told me secertly I was his favorite Id sit on his lap and just watch tv or eat Id have it no other way so many small memories but they are all mine =) I miss him alot because if he was here I KNOW my life would be completly different and he would love his grandkids...I look at Akira more and more she does look like him my aunt told me this a fw weeks ago and it hit me like wow your right!!! I cherish my kids alot and now I go visit my dad more often its been a few months but I started going again at first I admit I broke dwn alot!!! but now Im to were I can talk about it....I miss him alot but I know hes here with me in spirit he protects me......and that brings me soooooo much peace .His health was never a big issue to him.....I think his death made me more careful about myself and others we were cked for diabetes since his death so far Im the only one who doesnt have it but I do have high cholesterol........sooner or later I will also have diabetes but I do what I can to take care of myself and my kids Akiras cked every year and soon Gena will need to also more as a preventaive.........we eat prety good when we can......my sisters and mom all have the health issues and it does scare me I remember as a little grl telling my mom to eat better .....to take her meds its scary and sad to know my dad didnt take care of himself if he did hed be here I was also mad at him for it......I felt like he didnt care but now I realize....he knew he was dying he was told he had 3yrs to live......he lived alot longer beyond what he was told.......I wouldve been alot younger....so he lived his life to the fullest he could he was blind but made a point to watch tv with us....his picture is always with me....at wk and in my wallet.....hes sooo missed today I will be taking flowers to his grave........he died 06/11/1989 his birthday was 08/11/1950 or 55 cant remember!! haha but he was in his 30's like probable 34 ...........I pray my mom and sisters take better care of them selves I dont know what Id do if they were gone......thanks for reading.

New foods for Gena

Im super duper excited!! Gena started eating salad!! ok let me start from the beginning.......well on saturday she asked if we can go to the Soup Plantation......we were like sure!! so off we went and before we got there I told her that she will need to start to try new things like salad and veggies she didnt say no so I thought maybe she wont fight me!! haha ok well we were in the line for salad I showed her her plate and informed her that her salad will go in here......so first I asked her to taste the lettuce....she loved it because it was crunchy and juicy haha ok well I then continued to have her taste cucumbers and zuccini and not once did she complain.. I added some sunflower seeds and she requested some broccoli........whaa!!!ok!! its raw so I wasnt sure shed like it she tasted it and ate it so I added some my husband also got some different dressings for her to try she liked the milky one (ranch) she actually dipped the broccoli in it!! she didnt finish it but she did try it!! YAY!!!

Why am I sooo excited? well if you know Gena she wont try new things unless you literally stuff it in her mouth and force her to try it.. we were visiting family in L.A and we were at this yummy pizza place well all of us got some salad and I mentioned to her that soon shell have to try it also she said nope not me! so for her to try it and like it its amazing!! jaja So we went to eat on anther night and I tild her from the start no fries..so I gave her the option between apple sauce or steamed broccoli she choose.......BROCCOLI I think its her new veggie........she ate it most of it that is.....shes only eaten her veggies in soups because its the only way to hide them so far.....well not anymore...!!! =) I hope she begins to choose more veggies to try I think it will make things easier for me so I wont feel like I have to cook differntly for her to substitute things....so now she knows if we have mac n cheese yes were adding broccoli =) thanks for reading

HAVING A 9YR OLD!

I never thought Id see the day Akira turned 9 yes I knew it would be one day ofcourse but it seemed to farrrrrrrrrr away at the time.....let me take you back just a tad.......

I was 19 when I had Akira........she was my 2nd preg my first I miscarried...I found out I was pregnant with her and I was excited she wasnt a hard pregnancy .The week I had her was tough though........my doctor kept wondering if I was preg with twins see I was HUGE!! he measured me alot to be sure and did many ultrasounds (free) but nope just Mona was in there..One day I was in the shower and I got a big pain on my lower abd...lets say it was probable 05-29-00...called my ob and he sent me to the maternity ward I was hooked up to monitors to see what was going on.....everything was fine or so I thought he came in read the heart monitor for her and said Id need to come back after my Dr appt the next day.......I asked why he said her heart rate would drop when Id have a contraction ok well I didnt know I was having them they were the type that just made your tummy tighten. see her heart would drop and not come right back up which isnt good that day I was 36 1/2 weeks...the next day I went to my appt and he said hed see me at the maternity ward on Friday (it was thursday) since I wasnt having pain...well Friday am I and her dad went to the maternity ward we didnt eat because we planned to go after the appt.....when I walked in the nurses were joking that I was in a good mood for someone cking in I told them oh Im just here for monitoring Im not due yet!! well I was monitored and after which seemed forever the Dr came in and announced I needed to get a test done called an Amniocentises.........EEEEKKKKKKK! no it didnt hurt but they put this big long needle inside my tummy and collected liquid from the sac and ran it off to test to see if her lungs were mature so she can be born normal or C-section.....a few hrs later turns out her lungs were fine and oh yea 97% its a grl!! (there was confusion all the time she didnt shw comp) so they enduced me and on 06-2-00 Akira Monique was born at 6lbs 1 oz 18inches long her cord was sooooo short and I later found out that she couldve not made it I wasnt enduced scary!!! shes the best thing that happened to me at the time in my life because of her I went back to school and when things werent so good she was there to make me smile.......she became my strength when I left her dad.....

She wasnt a premiee she was a pre-term.....37weeks......shes still a handful but as she grws shes matured in so many ways shes still into little kids things but is now wanting to wear lip gloss and nail polish...yet she wants to be a tomboy which I was at a young age and didnt grw out of it well until way later!! My computer isnt allowing me to upload but when I do I will post some pixs of her......she asked me to take pixs of her the day before her b-day because she said its the last time shell be eating and so on as being 8 haha shes silly thank u for reading!!

Trip to Fresno

Well I left on friday like I said at 4pm due to many stops I had to take care of for a cousin I got to Fresno at 11pm on the dot.........may I say Im proud of myself Ive NEVER driven so far alone........it was nice in a way I was able to enjoy the scenery and have alone time.Akira was calling me to make sure I was ok........awwww......she was concerned because I was alone in the car and if anything happened she wouldnt know but I assured her that my onstar would let her know and it will take care of me if anything happened so she was happy about that.While I was driving my sister called me a few times to see were I was and to just chat we dont do that ever......so it was nice.....ofcourse Oni called me to see how the drive was and he would calculate the time frame as to how much longer Id be he said Id arrive at 11pm when I told him I was in the mountains he was right!! lol**
My poor hubby he was pacing around he was nervous for me to be driving so late but it was worth it I got to his aunts house I called my mom and sister and txted Akiras granpma to let them know I arrived safely and he came out of the house (looked like he was waiting at the door not to sure)and I just hugged him ! I missed him alot but I was soooooo tired and I needed to shower it was hot!!! (84 to be exact) I greeted everyone they were all awake planning a wedding for this weekend coming.....I looked at his aunt and she looks sick......very thin in the face but her belly is very swollen.......the Drs say any day now shes around due to her faith and the fact that her daughter is getting married soon...it was nice to be there with the family we had a Bridal Shower the next day it was hot!! (98!!!) but it all turned out beautiful it was very emotional.......possible the last get together so we all think together it was all worth the drive to see my hubby and Gena she ran to me!! didnt let go and wnted me to hlp in everything she normally does alone it felt real nice to be needed again well be leaving again friday this time for the wedding Akira will be coming with us this time so well be leaving late........(I pick her up at 7pm) this trip will be more emoti0nal than the last one.......I pray shes still wth us for more days...months even a year I know thats pushing it....but I can hope.....I will post some picturers later on......thanks for reading

missed and appreciated

Have you ever thought that you can do things without your partner being there? simple things like going to the store or taking out the trash and so forth just little things?? Well I thought hey I can do it I dont need help well here I am Oni left to Fresno last night with Genesis and my inlaws and I have just Akira with me...(thank goodness!!!) After he left we went to Walmart I decided to paint Akiras toe nails and let her pick her color.......while I was there I gotmore water and things we needed.........ok well as I was putting the things in the car it hit me.......I have to carry ALL this inside and up the stairs!!! yes Akira helped me but the heavy things like the water and coke zero.......man! Oni was always the one to tell me that hed get it for me........I was tired and wanted the day to end but it was only 6:30pm......so I told Akira to shower and I carrie the hevy things up stairs while she showered I noticed ok.....trash..........I carried all the trash out after a while I also realized I forgot to get my medication I take (BCP) AND the bird food (which Oni did ask me to get around 3pm.) so off we went to the stores .........I never realized how much I depend on him for the small things.......!!!

I got home showered and it was so quiet!! Akira was at my moms,she takes her to school in the am since I wake up at 4:30am....I couldnt sleep to quiet......no noise no lights on...scary finally I called Oni it was 11:00pm. he was almost to Fresno.......I said goodnight and tried to sleep when I woke up it hit me again.....Im alone so I made the bed tidied things up a bit got ready and took off to work.....normally I call Oni at 10:00am to say Hi and talk to Gena not sure if that can happen today so much is going on.....his aunt is dying and I want to be there for him but cant because of work.....Im doing my best to be un-selfish but I MISS them!!! I know they will be home soon....probable friday I dont know how military wives do this and I KNOW Im complaining but this makes me appreciate him more I thought yea!! FINALLY get to go to the gym wkout ok no.....I need to get Akira make dinner help with homework......and spend qulity time with her.......which I appreciate I enjoy talking to her with no interuption........she has alot to say......this has a good and bad I guess.....Im just realizing how much I depend on him and appreciate the small things.....yes I KNOW once they are home Ill go back to being annoyed that the house is a mess and to much noise but for now......I miss them <3