I'm my own enemy. I do things to sabotage myself on a daily basis......I KNOW I shouldn't eat things but I do....why? WHY!?
I'm not sure why, maybe its because once I'm home the mom takes over.....Im not selfish............I don't tell them "No Mommy cant spend time with you because I come first and I need to wkout more than I have" my kids will ALWAYS come first.... they know that nothing or no one is more important than them, maybe that's why I fail at always being 100% good? I am not blaming my kids.........its all ME.......I have 3kids...........WONDERFUL caring children. My oldest is 11 and she can help out and does....the 2nd oldest is 5 1/2 and is more independent than Id like to admit...my baby is 7mon old....see he NEEDS me......hes Mommy's boy. MAJOR!!.
My daughter graduated kinder and she LOVES when I bake, which I don't do that often. See I'm not the type of mom who says "No I wont make that its bad for you" I will not teach my kids to be obsessive about their foods but I do let them see that if you have things in moderation and workout you'll do OK. I asked her what she wants me to make....BROWNIES (YIKES) OK so I made them and my oldest helped..... after I made them we went for a walk with the dogs, when I came back in my mind I said (small piece small piece) and what happened? I don't know.........the fact that I haven't had many sweets came over me..........it TOOK over....no I didn't eat the whole pan....but I did have more than I wanted.
Then why am I still struggling this week? Oh did I mention I made banana bread last night?? NO? YES I DID! =( I didn't have a big piece......I had a small piece and halved it...............then why am I complaining? I'M SCARED!! I don't want to over eat it... I have finally realized I have NO control sometimes....maybe its the fat girl inside me?? Yes I have one.... No I wasn't 200lbs....close to it but I lost the weight 20lbs before I got there.....so I'm sure it comes out when there's food....I have a constant inner struggle with her...she tells me its OK just one more........and the thin girl says "NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I read everyday how people on here do so well and its making me feel bad....like the kid who took the cookies and ppl are talking about how good I am about not taking them anymore....GUILT...........but I wanted to just say it helps me .....as much as I feel the guilt it does help me to know that I am not the only one with bad days.......or weeks...........I want to just say thank you to those who on a daily basis encourage me......I am my own worst enemy I will always battle my inner fat girl...... but I know now that I'm NOT alone on my journey.........
AGAIN THANK YOU =)
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1 comment:
Okay so here is the deal. We all have those days were we battle the person we once were. We battle them when we look in mirror or look in the refridgerator. The most important thing to do is visualize the person you want to be because that will come in very handy when those weak moments come.
I know what you mean because I deal with it everyday too. I have to visualize myself as the strong lean woman I am on this journey to become. She is in there but the fat me tries to keep her hidden because it is all I have known for so many years.
You have to transform your mind and conquer that fat girl once and for all. YOu don't have to live in her shadow the rest of your life.
As far as the baking. IT is really to each their own but for me I find it better to NOT bring that stuff in the house. I know if it is there I might crack and not have control during a weak moment. SO if I want something sweat I get it and eat it outside of the house.
I do tell my daughter that certain things are bad because they are. They are not beneficial to her body. So I teach her healtheir alternatives. Not so that she is obessesive but just so she is more health conscious. But like I said we all have our opinions and that is mine.
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